Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
