I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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