I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
