I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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