Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
