he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The Olympian is in my bed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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