I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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