how can u be prego again
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
