bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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