We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
