Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
