this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
