Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
