this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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