All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
