Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
