My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
