sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
