I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
