did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
