she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
