i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish you could order shots online.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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