This girl is more easily done than said...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
