3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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