My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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