I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
