I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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