evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
