I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
