I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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