Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
