Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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