It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
