Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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