i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
