Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
