What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
