It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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