**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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