and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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