i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
