My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
