normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We had to coat check the pizza.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
