***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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