I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
