what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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