I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
