dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
