guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
