My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
