But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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