omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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